It has been a long time. :)

I have tendancies to neglect poor journals, especially when university starts, then by the time it ends, i'm too overjoyed to write in the journals/blog.

I think I'm going to start making icons again, just because I have 1 month free, free from the harm of uni, free from stress, free from 45minute train rides. FREE.

So.. My Trials went okay :) everything in general.. my Maths was scaled up to 73% (HA-HA!) but my rank got pushed down to 10.. WHATEVER. top 10 is a-okay for me. I am FINE. I will LIVE. HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE...
That is the one and only mark I will disclose. Farewell.

So how fragile is life? Not... like life/death.. but ... so many things can happen that you really never knew about. So many things can happen in a period of 3-4 days that completely ruins things...
The skies have been very gloomy lately, friends have been torn into a big hole of sadness and it's so hard as a friend to pull them back out. Maybe being a good friend isn't enough? What can we actually do to help them? Is our moral support enough to get them out of that hole? Be the one who throws the rope down and drags them back out? Perseverence. That is the key. Show them that you will ALWAYS be the one with the rope, you will always be standing by the opening of the hole, the white light behind you and all, unless you fall in too. So at times like this, me, the person with the least problems of life, should really try not to fall, some of us must be the friend in which our other not-so-happy friends can lean on. Why do some people always have to have it harder than others when least deserved? :( Why does pain ensue when you see others in pain? Too much empathy is no good for your health.
Do the trials really break you? Cause, it seems as if it sort of does... it is very, upseting? (sp? There is a double tt isn't there? Oh WHATEVS) So many friends have fallen into that hole, but some friends don't care? Which is .. sort of bad too. This doesn't work, that doesn't work!

Such. Is. Life.

Excuse my outburst of anger. I am.
over it.

Things like this are not worth me getting worked up and angry about. There are people who have it much worse than I do in this world, I should not even be complaining. I am too self indulgent. Even if that isn't the right word to use. My science is not up to par and apparently my english isn't either!

I need to start on trial revision notes. Can you believe it? 3 more months, not even 3 more months, 2 and something, and its all over... School is over? How can school be over? I'm still 17 years old! I feel like ... I'm turning a page to a new chapter of life! This is really strange. Sitting here and reflecting back is strange. Strange. Repitition is the watchword. Totally.

Totally.

What is it wiht my life? Like.. things have to pile up and then all punch me in the face at the same time. it hates me. it does. I've tried to avoid people. I avoid people so I won't piss them off since I'm on the worst unlucky streak right now. but no. People have to approach me and PROVOKE me to piss them off. Its your fucking fault. All your fucking fault.

THe world "NO" seems to be the culprit behind this all. Really, a two letter word - just kills life. People don't understand No. THey are the idiots of the world who keep persevering. you know what? You're fucking stupid. Thats what you are. If its a NO, its not going to automatically change to a yes. What is with people and repitition too? ASKING IT OVER AND OVER AGAIN IS NOT GOING TO GET YOU A DIFFERENT ANSWER. ....
....
....
I already said no once, but no, you have to ask again, and again, and again... finally I say it louder, and I get told off. DO YOU NOT KNOW WHAT "ANNOYING" stands for? Obviously fucking not.
....
....
The human kind is becoming more stupid by the second. Seriously, you wonder why there are more and more people every day.. when it should in fact be the opposite, every day, there should be less people... less... less... less... then suddenly, no more! No more stupid people in the world. None.
....
....
I will get over this. But right now I feel like shit.

Friends are underrated.
Trust is underrated.
Some people are hypocrites.

I know life is way too short to be wasting time holding grudges against others? But really, you can't blame me. Some people are just born with the mentality of.. particles of air. Their brains are like the size of ... atoms? My science is not up to par, so whatever.

RANT.

Some people just hold NO amounts of self respect or respect for others? Really, what compels people to do things so stupid like.. lets say.. throw eggs at someone's home? A home is the most private place for someone. Its like.. a sanctuary let's say? A place you like to be in to feel safe. It really doesn't say much about a person who throws eggs at another's home. It's the worse invasion of privacy. It is like taking the one thing a person can ever have, and mutilating it, pouring red paint all over it and setting it afire. Good job.
Real mature. People really need lives. Or rather, they really don't need their life. I'm done cursing swear words at you, I'm done wishing bad things upon you. Karma is the watchword. What you do unto others, will be done unto you.
I would swear right now. Except words of profanity can't even express the amount of anger that has built up over the past 2 days. Life genuinely has come to bite me in the ass. What have I done to you life? Maybe I did something terrible in my past life?
I am antisocial. I don't mesh well with people. And to think I considered taking HUMAN RESOURCE MANAGEMENT? What the hell was I thinking? I obviously was not thinking at all. I am not good with people. The types of people I have problems with.. like... they just keep popping back. There isn't even a type. Theres just specific people, who I assume have changed, who I hope have changed, I speak to them, all is well for a while - then suddenly.. everything reverts. People don't change, its the image that changed, then once you look at it long enough... theres cracks and stuff in it. It's flawed.
The moral: pick your friends. Know them. Make sure they know you. I am obviously not a person that everyone can get along with, if even for one second, you doubt how 'true' or 'real' our friendship is... then don't bother. Don't talk to me. Cut yourself straight out of my life. Don't talk to me just because you want an extra friend. I don't need it.
Man this has trailed off elsewhere.

On a happier note. Just 136 days until I am going to Hong Kong, Mainland China and Japan. I am praying to the heavens I get to stay at Excellent Court and I am praying to the heavens I get to go Taiwan and maybe peek at Mike He. >< Mike He is my high. Why do people even go on drugs?

I have come to a conclusion that I dig the name "Logan" and generally any other name that starts with a "J".
I also find Wolverine extremely hot. No. Scratch that. Hugh Jackman owns at life. That is all.

*prances around like a maniac* I changed the layout! Finally! To the two boys I abosolutely drool over and adore. I should probably put up a new icon as well. Just to match the layout huh? I really should. OK then.
I have been bludging around lately, I am so bad, I am supposed to summarise some stuff in Ancient History and Business, and I have failed to do so, I should probably do it for Economics as well. English + Maths aint need no summarising. I need to do Maths tutoring HOMEWORK >< *dies a painful painful death*. Tis life. Life sucks.
Commerce Law seems sooo attractive, aspecially with its 99.65 UAI Mark that you need. So very attractive. GO DIE. GEESH. YAR!
Movies I want to watch:
1. Brokeback Mountain
2. Jarhead
3. Just friends

That was random.

Dude. I need my social life back. HSCs, I DEMAND YOU, return my social life back to me :( I am social life deprived. Zilch. Nada. Nought. Ling. Nothing. Empty. Hollow. There is NO social life. No one is reading this, I'm just going to keep complaining. hee. bye.

Something really sad happened today. A possum got stuck in our school pipes, there was a 20cm gap from the pipe and the drain, and the possum's head was stuck there, the possum's head was probably 15 cm. but it was stuck, it was a sad scene... it didn't look like it was doing too well.. it didn't look like it was going to survive the firemen constantly trying to save it. There were 4 firemen, for ONE possum. They should have brought a fireman who had a saw, who could saw the pipe so they could set the poor possum free. I felt so bad for the rest of the day whenever I thought about the possum. It makes me very very sad, almost like.. crying? I think I empathise for animals too much, probably more than empathising for people in bad situations. Cause animals, have a better heart than humans. I sound like such a bitch. But whatever, there are nice people in the world, just that animals seem to come along with a much more decent heart.
*sigh* Poor possum, I'd like to think it got saved by those firemen, the 4 of them, they seemed to be very distraut, standing there and thinking of different ways to get the possum out without hurting it. The pipe is NOT big. The circumference of it was like.. not big.. the possum ... :( I felt that this was important enough to go onto my livejournal. My update, about the possum. I hope it got saved, and is climbing around trees right now, away from the pipes, I hope it never goes near pipes again.

On a brighter note, I made icons, more icons, icons galore. and Wentworth Miller is hot, he is hot, Prison Break is pretty interesting... *sigh*. I hope the possum is well.

I am updating! I am not dead, although I don't think anyone cares cause no one reads this! But one day, one day I will come back when I am 42 and read this. And think "hey I wrote this when I was 16 years old. Retarted Much?" heee =]
I made some new Supernatural Icons! and Joined about 3 Supernatural Communities. I am in a Jared and Jensen phase. Gawsh they are hot. HOT. hot DAMN. ok bye =]

I don't know which journal to update, at first, I made a new one _tira_, cause I liked the nick better, then I realised that I was joined to communities on this one, thus now, I'll stick back to this one. I'm so bad.
Anyway! Holidays! yay! Well, its like Wednesday of the 2nd week of holidays, thus, its nearly ending.
I can't wait to get back to school, but on the other hand, I'm scared. Year 12. Like WHAT. Since when did I become Year 12, Senior Year, LAST YEAR OF SCHOOL? Like what!!
Man I need to work my butt off to get into the course I want for UNI, I want to take Finance >< I want to either go UNSW or USYD, thats a 96.00 UAI or 93.20 UAI. How is poor little me going to get that? We'll just have to see.
SO, I've been watching all the season premieres of ALL my favourite shows, heee, VERONICA MARS (KILLER OMG. I died, It was so GOOD, but so SHOCKING, my friends started screaming when they watched it, we are such little kids. And to think we're onto like this big step in life to determine if we're getting into Uni *sigh*), SMALLVILLE (wasn't THAT great, but its nice to see all my Buffy/Angel people on all these shows, VM, Smallville, LOVELY!), SUPERNATURAL (Jensen Ackles is just so damn hot, AND the show is pretty good), OTH (erm, thats back tomorrow, so I have no idea how that is so far), OC (it won't let me watch it. =[. bad OC), Charmed (I watched because I was BORED. lol. Its getting a bit.. weird? None focusing on the actual sisterhood? Family ties? Just love love and love.) Speaking of love. LOGAN AND VERONICA need to get together. *sigh*
I haven't been out often this holidays =/ 3 times MAX, my mum used to ALWAYS tell me to "stay home karen, don't go out so much", now its the opposite "you really need to go out, stop staying at home." hee. well, the computer is almost my bestfriend, how could I neglect it eh?
Anyway, enough journalling, I have neglected THIS journal for atleast 3 months. Bad me.

OK the feeling of helplessness and like boringness has overtaken my body. I feel shit.SHIT. its 12:22am and I feel SHIT. wow. I think that its most likely due to my serious unproductiveness. I have NOT done any homework. *gasps*.. and I just finished Sailor Moon.. Season 5 was actually GOOD despite the constant absence of Mamoru (Darien).. atleast he came back in the final episode.. w00t.. looking mighty fine too. I still stand by liking Season 1-2 the best, it was the seasons where Darien appeared most, and then season 3-4 just made him seem like a background character, and then Season 5.. wow.. he disappeared into a mist in like the beginning of the episodes. He was in a plane then suddenly a flash of yellow light hit the plane and *whoosh*. Mamo-chan is gone. *tear*. THEN SEIYA comes along. like FUCK? Initially when I first head of this Seiya/Usagi thing, I was liek "the hell?! MAMORU IS MEANT FOR USAGI!! WHO THE FRICK IS SEIYA!" and I can't believe I have come to ... like.. .him... omg. HAHA. Funny thing is, Seiya is one of the 'popular idols' wityh Yaten and Taiki, but they are.. infact.. hidden Sailor Senshis! THEY ARE SAILOR .. er.. somethings, and to be Sailor Senshis.. you need to be a girl, so when they are Sailor Senshis, they are actually GIRLS, not BOYS, but in their human form, they are boys.. HAAHHA.. its so.. disturbing when they transform, cause you can so tell Seiya likes Usagi. ICK. USAGI DO NOT SUCCUMB TO SEIYA! YOU HAVE MAMORU! AHHAAHAH.. ok.. See my bordom hitting my smack bang right on in the face? Ahuh.
Talking about series, wow. Veronica Mars so rocks. I am still going on about this. Sheeeeeeesh. hehehe. Jason Dohring. w00t. I SO want to be in San Diego on Friday to attend the comic con to see Jason =0( WELL, atleast my 'Black Cadillac' will be arriving then, I can go perve on him via a dvd.. a 16 year old looking him. w00t. I have business hwk which I have yet to do, and like I dont even know what it is, Ancient History just seems stupid, and I don't want to touch Visual Design, that seems even worse. like DAMN. I hate school. Kill it. burn it. please. ICK.
I AM COUNTING DOWN.. till the days that VM, OTH, OC ALL come back to meeee.. they can entertain me. w00t. Just 2 more months karen. 2 more months. ok bye.

OMFG. Seven was FRICKEN soo.. I can't find a word to describe it.. FREAKY? Man. that was bad. Brad Pitt did a pretty damn good job at it.. omigawd. How freaky. ew. EW.

I am SO not in love with VL and Logan.. gee.. who am I kidding? I ADORE THEM.

05.17.01.

( 20 shiny new VM icons behind the cut )

ok I'm finally updating again.. its the HOLIDAYS! thats fricken why! and the holidays means that I need a new layout for my little livejournal here =D well, I'm happy the way this one turned out, its simple, yet er, effective? no. its pink. pink gives no effect for me. lol. WELL, I just like it okay. critisize it all you want, and its still my livejournal.
i realised, i have SO many things I need to do in the holidays, I need to study for my upcoming maths and economics test, worth 10% each, then I need to do my Ancient History which is 30%, Ext Eng 30%, and and and and.. err.. NORMAL English which is 20%. oh wait, and Visual Design which is 10%. they want me to die. I'm telling you, the sole purpose of the school is to kill the brains of the poor students 'educating' in it. Nah. I'm kidding. School is okay, just stressing? I'm not flunking anything besides er.. Maths.. I was SO close to failing =D hahaha 55/100, and the rest were 75/100 and above, my highest one was 90/100, then 88/100 <-- for EXT english. woohoo, and then 86/100 for Ancient, 82/100 For Adv Eng, and errrrrr.. 76/100 for Economics, 75/100 for business.. not too bad huh? besides maths. ANYHOW..
LOGAN AND VERONICA ARE SO MEANT TO BE TOGETHER. I can't wait till season 2 comes out, I can't WAIT till the dvd comes out in america, it will cost me $78. All is good, I don't mind, It is worth it, I love it. xD and I just bidded on "Black Cadillac" on ebay for $12, boy I hope I win, JASON DOHRING is in it =D lover. Love him. love him HEAPS! such a good actor. Sang Woo too, but i'd be more attracted to Sang Woo if he would just CUT HIS FRICKEN HAIR. ANYWAY. enough of my ramblings. I have made icons. ICONS. yes.ICONS. just a few Veronica Mars ones which took me like ages to make 9.. haha I am going slower by the moment. =D wooohoo
au revoir pretties.

Accomplishment of the day. 2 headers. this one sucks. 8 icons. they half rock. and 1 banner. LMFAO. ok. finished live journalling

VERONICA MARS! <-- if you don't watch it, DOWNLOAD IT FRICKEN RIGHT NOW.
its such a good series, you might not think so, but I do.. =)
anyway, just wanted to say that, I've absolutely put Veronica Mars on my "MUST WATCH" list..
I'm so glad theres season 2.. even though its not out yet? but yeh..
One tree hill..
Oc..
Veronica Mars..
hmmm...

Well you see, I had this little.. maybe not little, maybe brief talk or maybe something nearly close to me about to throw a full fledged arguement back at- talk.. hm. This thing on 'its the thought that counts' for birthday presents, ring a bell? Don't you sometimes say it too? I have come to realisation that it is actually the thought that counts, but does the money not count also? I'd say it is how much you think the thought counts to how much the money does. Thought for me is ranging from about 70%-80% whereas money is at 20%-30%, I can't say I don't give a damn about how much the present costs, but you'd expect something that is thoughtful, and isn't from the $1 shop. And No, I haven't received anything from the $1 shop, ever, and nor will I ever go and purchase a present from there unless it is wrapping, glue, ribbons and such. So next time anyone throws a 'its the thought that counts' to me, I will tell them exactly this, or just tell them to go to my 15th of June Livejournal entry on my concept of 'thought vs money'. I do certainly appreciate the fact that people even bother buying me anything, I never said I didn't, I just simple like to calculate how much it is worth and then possible put it into my balance sheet in my head and realise that I really OVER SPEND, the ratio on how much money I spent, to how much money gets spent on me is appox 3:1. Its the thought that counts right? Right. Then that 3 times of the amount can just flow it's liquid self down the drain. Sure thing.

Onto a more positive note, wait, there are no positive notes in my day today, I AM FRICKENNNN hating school right now, more like LOATHE it, I quite literally want to vomit and spew at it when I think of it. Assessments just suck. Homework sucks. Maths sucks even more. Now, even my favourite subject English sucks. What is the world becoming? Boring? Yeh. WELL SCHOOL, our dear little Peter (notice I said "our" because everyone thinks of him as a little boy thats so adorable. I think hes evil.) received a mobile phone for his 2 months late birthday present, of course, I think he NEEDS one, he is 16 going on 30, he NEEDS a mobile phone in case of girls randomly asking for his number on the street, and him escaping the probability that he may well have to look at them in the eye and say he doesn't have a mobile and then the girls will think he is lying. No. He just needs a mobile full stop. He has a good looking mobile, I like it, too bad he is on voda and I can't call him and catch up? Just too bad.

English Comp- it was shit, pure brown shit. I didn't understand 75% of all the words the entire english comp was made out from, they asked me stupid questions like "which is spelt incorrectly" FUCK. You'd think someone in 3U english could answer which word was spelt incorrectly. I didn't. Cause you know, they think we're spastically multi talented in english, I will just wait patiently to receive my participation certificate =D

WELL, my mum got into a car crash today?! Lucky its just a scratch on the car and shes okay, why is it that my dad needs to chuck a hissy fit and make it seem as if the car seeemed to matter more than my mum's health and safety, he is fully screaming and blaming. I feel for her. He has the most stupid ways of facing stuff and now my mum is angry too, so therefore I won't be having a happy night. The family will be cold and distant towards each other and we will seem like strangers. RAD. Just fricken RAD.

Did I mention that I watched Mr and Mrs Smith on Monday? I gotta say, it was cool! It wasn't as good as the trailer made my expect it to be, but it was good, good humour, lots of action, not so much of a plot, but cool none the less. Eye candy- Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, How much better could it get? Funny how I now think that Brad Pitt is one of the hottest beings to grace the earth, and prior to watching Troy atleast 2 times, I thought he was one of the ugliest beings the grace the earth. WHAT IN THE WORLD WAS I THINKING? He is beautiful. Even for a 41-41 year old man. Is that his age? I don't know man, well hes beautiful. Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are meant for each other, they NEED each other. RAWR.

OKKKK. I have said enough, I have assessments and big chunks of homework that needs me to go like interact with it. Its like school and I speak a completely different language? We don't understand each other. *shrugs* bye.

I'm blogging! 2nd day in a row. woohoo. Big accomplishment Karen. *pats self on back*
Anyway, onto my hot topics of like currently, that didn't make sense but whatever, theres a fly in my room, I opened the door numerous times to free the poor trapped soul out and yet the stupid thing didn't fly out, dumb much? It will sooner or later force me to murder it with my bare hands. *smack*. Yes. Hot Topics. People and their relationships with each other.. girls/girls? I have finally realised the depth of how mean I actually am, I think I'm way beyond mean if you wind up on my bad side, not many people are on my bad side? The worst side is probably the part where I quite literally wouldn't care for you anyway, you are about to get hit by a bus and you can't see and I have the power to save you by pulling you back, I'd be obvlious to the big yellow monster opening its jaws wide and swallowing you alive.. I'd let it take you. But you see, If I didn't like you, I'd still save you cause you know, atleast I have some feelings and emotions towards you..
We're learning about Love Poetry in english right now, bloody its so funny =) I love english as I mentioned in my past post. PASSION MUCH? And we talk about Buffy so often.. which therefore makes it more the interesting..
Yes, the depth of how mean I am, goes all the way down to the bottom of the ocean man, and TRUST ME<-- that is down down down down, where the water is actually like 3423904923 degrees and these little animals still manage to live there, these weirdo looking flowers and stuff and worms, they can actually withstand 38534985935 degrees of boiling hot water. I'm exaggerating but you get my drill, the water is hot, not just normal hot, but HOT HOT, and then volcanos erupt under water and they don't die? Those strong little buggers.
Oops, off topic again, how mean I am.. straight to the point, maybe I'm just envious that some people can achieve so much happiness and perhaps I think they don't deserve it! Now I'm sounding like the one who doesn't deserve it, *shrugs*, not like I have it anyway... I have a different kind of happiness, the bubbliness happines but not the 'fluttery' one, where your world just turns into a blob of pink and yellow and all things bright, the birds look extra pretty everyday and you live in some fairytale land. Yes. I am deprived of that. Deprived of what I am seeing couples experience everyday around me, its sort of disturbing you know? Like I don't want it, I may seem as if I do, but I don't? Boys always lead to trouble one way or another, I like seeing other people happy together, perhaps that makes me feel their joy with them. *ahem* satya and maly *ahem*, but just some certain couples, I find nothing 'happy' about it. Maybe Wrong+Wrong does make a Right? You see what I mean by I am SO slack, but everyone does this okay, you may start to have these tarted thoughts where you think something so indescribably mean about someone and then you think back and realise that was such a shit thing to do. like shit. poo shit, toilet shit, dog shit. YET, I ignore the fact that I know its mean and I still do it. Yay for Karen and learning from her mistakes. Not. I need to really work on that. You know what? Atleast I'm not stupid like some people and don't admit that they are doing something wrong and apologise about it. I may not be apologising here, but at the least, I feel bad. And then after my 1 minute silence of feeling bad, I continue on with my weekly routine of aiming taunting comments at the specific person. GEEZ Karen. fricken stop it.
OKay onto some less 'karen thoughts' stuff.. I want to do something to my hair. anything. Beachy look is mad but not fit for school and I'd also get massive pissed off at it and end up tying it up anyway. Wait, I tie it up whatever I do. WELL, wavish hair with bits of plaits and like wavy top looks quite funky and when it is tied up it looks hot too. Wow. Maybe that tomorrow then. yes. Okay.
URBAN STORE 50% fellow urban storers. How fricken MAD is that. I need new clothes. Need to go burn my keycard and take out all my stashed money. as if. haha my goal is to save 7000-10000 grand by the end of year 12, and take note that I DO NOT WORK, yes, Karen sits at home everyday and nets, unless I'm out and about, try messaging me when I appear "online" I do always reply. 90% of the time atleast...
I REALISED THAT OUR ENGLISH ESSAY IS OUT OF 15!! If you get 9/15 thats only 60%?! I'd die. I want atleast 10+ cause I want something above 70% man. I've never gotten anything under 80% for english? NEVER. Not assessments anyway, and hardly school work. But yerrhh. sex. okay. BYE. It is 12:29am On Friday and I am getting delusional. Insomnia much? I haven't even slept properly for the past few weeks. Fatigue has hit me had in the face, probably broken off my nose, fricked up my braces and is coming back for more bashing at school. I fell asleep in the formal assembly. Smart Karen. JUST smart. Okay. bye journalyyyy. I will write to you tomorrow. yes.

WELL i was just talking to tiffany just then and decided to make a blog entry about some thoughts that arised due to this short conversation, it was nothing to do with what we said but rather what I suddenly thought of when I spoke to her... and read her blog....
The year 12 e block crew seem spasticadely immensely close? Kind of makes me jealous? hahah hahah.. naw.. I'm happy man, it seems that when you get older, you do find who your true friends are, who you can depend on, who are the ones who are there for you unconditionally, the ones whom you treat like siblings and would die to see them unhappy.. then theres those whom you really don't think deserve to have your care, or to have you talk to them.. or even realise they exist for that matter, perhaps when you grow older you find yourself? I haven't yet, I'm just.. floating around waiting to be found. I realised I like to use the word 'perhaps' a lot, it is such a funky word is it not? haha. to me it is alright. Well, as I was saying.. about this whole aging to an old wrinkly face thing.. Even when you grow older, lose some friends, find out who your real ones are, you still are the same coniving bitches at heart.. haha.. not to each other but to specific 'others'.. I'm not like that to everyone but =/ I hand pick who I choose to be slack to merely because I think they deserve it or they don't have a brain? So therefore I only pick like 1 out of 70 people, and THEN I hardly even say anything mean about them anyway, unless they really do go to extremes and piss me off until I NEED to blurt out my feelings into a pile of word vomit<-- or unless I'm occasionally feeling really mean or bored.. and I am seldom bored.. hmph. ONTO the whole point, I strayed off topic just then.. I realised out grade has gone much tighter than before, not money wise, as that stupid pun may suggest.. but I think we're all closer somehow now? We all talk and play and go out, and its such a nice thing to feel like you have friends that are there for you. Like I always have my specific friends which I could probably count my life on, but it feels nice to know that the grade is interacting now and we are all having this mutual understanding and respect for each other - minus some certain people, but yeh.. sucks thought, we're 1/2 way through year 11 and then finally we all come together, we have approx 1 year and a few months to go before we'd most likely never see each other ever again, unless we were lucky.
People do mature when they grow up, man I want this whole essay about friends and aging? I think they relate. As I explained above, you come to know who you'd want to stay friends with for life. Heck, I'd better stay friends with my close friends for my entire life! =D
And now going backwards and back to one of my little outbursts of guilt, is it wrong to not like someone because of what they did in the past? Not entirely 'not like' but hold a grudge against it and never ever forget it? I mean, you can't control what you want to or not want to forget.. I'm forgiving, but to an extent, if you break that trust I have with you.. you're screwed? You're never going to get it back and I am going to find every possible way of pissing you off or offending you... in your face as well, I make no deliberate attempts to conceal my feelings as I think that just makes matters worst, I'd rather be known as a 'bitch' than a 'backstabbing bitch', wait, I'm possibly both. (-_-) contraditory much? but YEH. friends. LOVE THEM =D

I be gone now. Need some sleep for tomorrow. Needing to hand in my english essay. FARK. I love english. I have this full passion for english, its the one subject I look forward to when I go to school, Ext Eng and Normal English, I don't understand why people don't like it? its the best fucking subject to ever be made in the world. NOTICE I only used FUCKING once, well twice now.. but yes, and it wasn't even to emphasise my anger, but instead to emphasise my passion for english =D swearing is a nono. it is not the way to go. I will not swear. no. okay.

goodnight. Tis 1.05am and I have been typing for approximately 27 odd minutes. GEEEBUS